How much do I hate myself?
As much as I hate calories
As much as I hate the patriarchy
Or Donald Trump
(Maybe not quite as much as him)
As much as I hate hockey socks
Or the colour beige
Or beige hockey socks for that matter
Not as much as I hate sexist teachers.
How much do I love myself?
As much as I love plain popcorn
As much as I love flannel shirts
And swearing quietly
Whilst mentally giving people the finger.